omg this is so exciting! Cant wait for the next batch!
I wish I had more time…
Today, I had the time to think about my life for the first time in a long time. And as my freshman year of college nears it end, I decided to create a tumblr to snapshot my first year. I never want to forget the moments I have already had here at college, and one day, I’ll look back at this post - What will I think? Who cares, I’m excited for the future.
Man, I have not studied at all… but I don’t think I’ll regret it even if I do badly in my classes. These last few days are what I have always believed college should be.
I have always tried to maintain balance in my life, but it has been really hard this year. I am really sorry if I have ever neglected you or seemed flakey =/. However, I think I did the best job I could, and it is always a work in progress. I think I am a bit more on the right track recently. Thank you to the people who have corrected me.
I’ve been wrong so many times. <—-Remember—-> I am almost never right.
The Prayer - Kid Cudi
“My heart thump not from being nervous
Sometimes I’m thinking God made me special here on purpose
So all the while ‘til I’m gone make my words important so
If I slip away, if I die today the last thing you remember won’t
Be about some apple bottom jeans with the boots with the fur
Baby how I dream of being free since my birth
Cursed but the demons I confronted would disperse”
I really love this song. It reminds me that you shouldn’t worry about being recognized - you should just strive to be worthy of recognition. Death will wipe away a lot things…
I’m Still Here - John Rzeznik
“I am a question to the world,
Not an answer to be heard.
All a moment that’s held in your arms.
And what do you think you’d ever say?
I don’t listen anyway…
You ignore me,
And I’ll never be what you want me to be.
And what do you think you’d understand?
I’m a boy, not a man.
You can take me and throw me away.
And how can you learn what’s never shown?
Yeah, you stand here all alone.
They don’t know me ‘cause I’m not here.
And I want a moment to be real,
Wanna touch things I don’t feel,
Wanna hold on and feel I belong.
And how can the world want me to change,
They’re the ones that stay the same.
The don’t know me,
‘Cause I’m not here.”
This is one of my all time favorite songs, and for some reason, I always forget the name and the artist. Weird, huh? I can’t really quantify why I like this song… but it means a lot.
There are so many things I am thankful for. I think I have always been a grateful kid, but recently, I’ve been given more than I could need, want, or ask for. And so, I think, I’ll start my list from big to small.
UT - I really love this campus. I remember when I was applying - I applied on the last day, and it was not cleared through until the last fews hours of the deadline. I wasn’t even nervous… I always take things for granted, and I wish I could go back in time and kick myself - continuously. I ultimately chose UT because I loved the idea of a big campus with more people, more opportunities, more things to do, more everything. And more organizations that have made this place home…
Organizations (ABSA, AACM, Koinonia, etc.) - These have been a big part of my life this year. They’ve provided me with the opportunities, mentors, and people that I dedicate almost all my time to.
Opportunities - I’ve been given a lot… I just hope I did a good job fulfilling these.
Mentors - I have always said one of the best things about McCombs is the mentoring spirit in it. Everyone is a so freaking helpful - It’s unbelievable :P
People - I really regret not doing ABSA shoutouts - I am realllllllly bad at those. I never know what to say, and I would rather just say things in person. I am actually hoping a lot of people don’t read this post; I made it long on purpose >:). Just as a primer - I love the people at UT and back home.
Petra, Betty, Josh, Richard - I am so thankful for this group. I do not think I have ever been this close to anyone - let alone 4 different people. Petra :). Josh :P. Richard :D. Betty :|. haha jking. but for real. I can’t wait to spend years with these guys.
Small Group - At the last AACM LG, we were asked what was one of the things we were most thankful for, and I thought of our SG. We mesh really well, and I am really “SaTiSfy-ed” by this group. Josh Ling - Happy birthday… sorry we didn’t torture you. There is no other person I would have as small group leader, and I hope you know you’ve done a really good job with a bunch of rowdy freshmen. Richard, there is no other person who is more gaseous than you… jking! head up - You’ll do great things in life.
JWest Sixth Floor - Greatest part about living in Jester. I know I haven’t had a lot of time to spend with these guys, but I wouldn’t want to live on any other floor. I will find the time to spend time with these guys are your place next semester. Vo - I am very interested in what you will do with your life. You have so much potential man.
Professors - I went to many office hours this year - I think more than most freshmen. No matter what people say, they run this campus, and they have a number of great things to say. People will should talk to them more.
Janitors / Faculty - I think they are the unsung heroes of the campus. I try to be generous during FYM, but I don’t think it’s ever enough. I think all Jwest residents should know their floor’s janitor and thank them. Our floor’s janitor is Jennifer. She is a bright and jovial person. I thanked her before I knew she was so cool.
J2 Food - I don’t understand why people complain about J2. It’s freaking awesome. 2nd greatest thing about living in Jester.
My Roommate - I think I got lucky with Ryan. I cannot remember a single time I was angry at him or even annoyed at him. He is definitely a good guy
TED.com - I love this website.
Jester Convenience - I suck at waking up. Uh, that’s it.
AACM Peeps - Some of the nicest people I have met on campus. I wish I knew more AACM people, and I will next semester.
KUSA Peeps - Haha, I love seeing KUSA Peeps in the corridors. Terrance, you sir, are a character. David, Thank you providing answers to many of my questions - You are one of the most intelligent people I know. Daniel, thanks for everything you have taught me.
Koinonia Peeps - I really miss this group. I remember coming to UT, and Koinonia greeting and welcoming me with open arms.
ABSA Peeps - I have gotten to know a lot of people in ABSA, but I wish I got know a lot of them on a deeper level. We still have time, and I am looking forward to it :).
FYM, MES, Launch Committee - I worked together a lot with the members of these committees, and a lot of it went without any hitches. I appreciate the cohesion behind each of these groups.
Case Comp Team Members - Thank you for dealing with me. I know it’s hard sometimes.
Umma / Appa - I have hit a point in my life where I realize that almost every single thing that my parents have told me is true. My parents are probably the number one thing I take for granted, and over the summer, I’ll make sure they understand they are not taken for granted.I really could not ask for better parents. My mom has always been the worrier and my dad has always been the warrior. Our family has never been the touchy-feeler talking family, but their actions always tell me exactly what I need to know.
Nick - I know I have always been a jerk to my brother. But it’s a blessing to have someone who has and will always been there for me, and I for him.
Courtney - My cousin has one of the greatest personalities that exists, and she is always caring, helpful, and giving. I think she will find out that every single person she has ever spent time will want to give back to her down the line.
Ryan - I have always been thankful that you are my cousin and I’m looking forward to catching up over the summer.
Jun - I really want to catch up.
What I’ve done… And What I Haven’t…
IDK why, but I never feel like I have done enough, learned enough, experienced enough, heard enough, felt enough, known enough, or seen enough. Oddly, I always feel like I’ve studied enough. Yet, when I look back, I can see that I’ve probably done more this year than almost all my other years combined. Especially years 1-5… I just ate, slept, and pooped - who does that! Despite that, I am looking forward to doing nothing during the summer.
Hm. I’m 19. My birthday was on April 22, and it’s just hitting me. I was used to 18. I’ve never thought much about birthdays, but I had a great time this year.
I remember in high school the anticipation that came with summer break. I don’t feel that anymore. I am excited, but it’s not the same. Something’s changed. I decided not to do an internship I wanted the entire semester. It really was a choice between doing something and doing nothing. I guess I’ll use summer as the end to this snapshot.
“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”
“Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.”
-H. S. Thompson